Robot Chicken Chronicles
by Pikazilla
Summary: Naruto/Super Smash Bros/Sonic the Hedgehog & Godzilla face the wrath of Robot Chicken.
1. NARUTO Gaara is psychotic

Gaara is curled up in a ball in the corner of the room.

**Gaara** Murder… death… rape… kill… destroy… rape… die… rape…

**Kankuro** I think Gaara needs a therapist.

**Temari** That's why I got one.

The therapist walks over to Gaara.

**Therapist** Hi there Gaara.

Gaara kills the therapist with Desert Funeral (Sand Burial).

**Kankuro** Why is Gaara always like this?

**Temari** Because he watches too much Barney.

**Kankuro** Makes sense, that show is evil.

Gaara tries cutting his hand, but the sand prevents self injury.

**Gaara** WHAT THE HELL! I like cutting my self, but this sand won't let me!

**Kankuro** What are you, Elmo? I mean emo! Are you emo?

**Gaara** (singing) I kill you… You kill me… I will kill my family…

**Temario** Just walk away… just walk away…


	2. Sasuke Punch

Sasuke fights Itachi in a hotel building

Sasuke fights Itachi in a hotel building.

**Sasuke** I'M GONNA XXXXING KILL YOU!!

**Naruto** Whoa, easy Sasuke, calm down. It's not like he killed your dog or something.

**Sasuke** He killed my family…

**Naruto** Oh…

Sasuke performs the Chidori and attacks Itachi.

**Sasuke** FALCON PAWNCH!!

Itachi deflects the blow and grabs Sasuke's arm.

**Sasuke** No, the Falcon Punch never fails…

**Itachi** You forgot one thing, I'm Itachi, I'm too badass to be killed by a piece of shit like you.

**Sasuke** Well, yo mama is so ugly…

**Itachi** My mother is your mother, and your mother is dead.

**Kisame** Good point…

**Sasuke** Well, I'LL KILL….

Itachi breaks Sasuke's arm and kicks his ass. Itachi and Kisame run away after blowing a hole in the wall.

**Jiraiya** I knew he couldn't win. Sasuke hasn't mastered the Falcon Punch while Itachi has more abilities and a huge fanbase.

A Shuriken hits the wall.

**Jiraiya** What the?

Guy kicks Jiraiya in the face.

**Guy** FALCON KICK!! Wait, Jiraiya?

5 minutes later.

**Guy** I told you, I'm sorry.

**Hotel Owner** WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED?!

**Jiraiya** Uh… It wasn't my fault.

**Hotel Owner** WHO'S GONNA PAY FOR THIS?!

The ninjas run away.

3 years later…

**Tsunade** Naruto, Itachi is dead.

**Naruto** WHAT THE HELL!? How did that happen?! This is gonna hurt a lot of Naruto fans…

**Tsunade** Jiraiya was going to tell you, but I think he's dead too.

**Naruto** ENOUGH WITH THE SPOILERS!!


	3. Best Part about the Byakugan

Neji

Neji is near the women's locker room.

**Neji** This is why I like the Byakugan.

Jiraiya appears in front of Neji. Since Neji is using Byakugan, giving him the ability to see through clothing…

**Neji** AH!! NAKED OLD MAN!!

**Jiraiya** Are you peaking on women?

**Neji** Why do you care? You do it all the time.

**Jiraiya** That's why I'm here… but I would leave now if I was you…

**Neji** Why?

**Jiraiya** If Tsunade finds anyone peaking on women, she'll kick their ass. I face that threat everyday.

Jiraiya leaves.

**Neji** I won't get caught, I can see everything with my Byakugan… and what I see is… a giant snail?

Tsunade and Katsuyu (the giant snail) attack Neji as he runs for his life.

**Neji** I can't help it if there's so many sexy ninja chicks!


	4. Shino and his bugs

Shino is talking to his bugs.

**Shino** Don't worry, you guys will love my friends.

Kiba is trying to kill some flies.

**Kiba** Die stupid insects!

**Shino** Except Kiba. You should stay away from him.

**Kiba** Hey Shino. Are you talking to your bugs again?

**Shino** Yeah, what's so wrong with that? You talk to your dog all the time.

**Kiba** Oh yeah. Hey Akamaru, let's piss all across the forest.

**Shino** Don't train him to master using piss as a weapon. That's just sick, dude.

**Kiba** He doesn't care, I do it too so he doesn't feel left out.

**Shino** I am gonna hurl.

**Kiba** Why?

**Shino** WILL YOU USE A REAL BATHROOM LIKE EVERYONE ELSE!?

**Kiba** Nah, it's not fun unless you do it our way.

Kiba runs into the woods.

**Shino** You bugs should stay_ far_ away from him. Very far away.

**Naruto** Hey Shino, where's Kiba?

**Shino** He's… teaching Akamaru how to go to the bathroom.

**Naruto** What? Ok… Wait, I just realized something. Don't insects need to crap too?

**Shino** Yeah…

**Naruto** But if they live inside you… (walks away).

**Shino** They don't use my body as a toilet. They go 'outside' first.

**Naruto** Oh, thank god.

**Shino** Amen.


	5. Hot Hinata

Naruto, Shino, Hinata and Kiba walk down a path early in the morning.

**Shino** Naruto, why are you so tired?

**Naruto** I was up all night.

**Kiba** Why?

**Naruto** I saw this ultra hot, naked chick near the waterfall.

Hinata flinches (she was that hot naked chick).

**Naruto** Really, she was pretty damn sexy. That baby got back, rack, and no clothing.

**Kiba** What was she doing?

**Naruto** Some kind of sexy dance, it was awesome and hot. Unfortunately, she disappeared very quickly. Huh, Hinata? Are you ok? You're face is all red.

**Hinata** Uh… n… no, I'm… fine…

**Shino** Are you sure that you were not dreaming?

**Naruto** NO! I'm telling you there was a sexy chick near the waterfall!

**Kiba** Sounds like you like her.

**Naruto** Like her? I want to have sex with her! Plow that tight ass.

Hinata faints.

**Kiba** Hinata!

**Shino** Oh great…

**Naruto** What should we do?

**Shino** Naruto, get some water.

**Naruto** I'll go to the waterfall. I might see the sexy naked chick again.

**Shino** Will you just go!?

Naruto leaves. Hinata wakes up.

**Kiba** Huh? Hinata! Are you ok?

**Hinata** Y...yeah.

**Shino** Hinata, that girl Naruto was talking about. Was that you?

**Hinata** Uh… y… yes. Please don't tell him.

**Kiba** Wait, you train by dancing near a waterfall, naked?

**Hinata** Uh… yeah…

**Kiba** _AWESOME_!

**Shino** Shut up, Kiba.


	6. Akumaru is good with women

Sakura meets Kiba for the first time

Sakura meets Kiba for the first time.

**Sakura** Is that a dog?

**Kiba** Uh… _YEAHHHHHHHHHH_. What do you think?

**Sakura** I didn't know they allowed pets in school. Can I see him?

**Kiba** Sure.

Sakura holds Akamaru.

**Sakura** Ah… he's so cute.

Akamaru pisses on Sakura.

**Sakura** Ugh, WHAT THE HELL!?

Akamaru pisses on Sakura.

**Sakura** STOP THAT!!

Akamaru pisses on Sakura.

**Sakura** I'M GONNA FXXXING KILL…

Akamaru pisses in her mouth.

**Sakura** AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!

**Kiba** Oh crap…

Sakura beats up Kiba and Akamaru and walks away.

**Kiba** What a bitch.

**Sakura** (cracks her knuckles)Ex-cuse me... FALCON PUNCH!

3 hours later, both students are in detention.

**Kiba** Well, what did you think would happen when you attack a fellow student?

**Sakura** This is a ninja school. All we are taught to do is to learn how to beat the crap out of people. Wait, why are you here?

**Kiba** I'm always in trouble.

**Sakura** And why is the dog on your head?

**Kiba** He likes being on people's head.

Akamaru jumps off of Kiba and onto Sakura's head.

**Kiba** See?

**Sakura** GET IT OFF!!


	7. Ultimate Showdown of Ultimate Destiny

Asian but whiter than a white man

Asian but whiter than a white man.

Black but whiter than a white man.

The ultimate showdown…

Orochimaru vs Michael Jackson.

These two fight to the death, destroying all in their path, for the ultimate prize... being on a show with ninja children.

**Orochimaru** Hell yeah.

**Jackson** I'm black, but I'm white. I'm black and white. Hee hee!

**Orochimaru** Get away from those bitches, they my bitches.

**Jackson** My bitches!

(Both competitors do a summoning jutsu. Mickael Jackson summons an army of zombies while Orochinaru summons Manda.)

**Jackson** Manda? Isn't that a girl's name?

(Mickael Jackson performs the moonwalk, giving Orochimaru a seizure. Orochimaru recovers. Orochimaru pulls out his sword with his tongue)

Why do you have a long tongue? Are you that guy from Kiss?

Gene Simmons?

Yeah, him. Are you Gene Simmons?

I can be anything you want…

You know what… We have a lot in common…

(They both stop the fight and walk into the sunset. Orochimaru isn't seen ever again, but Mickael Jackson is arrested for dropping Verne Troyer off of a building)

**Jackson** He looked like a little kid to me.

Next time, Naruto vs Spongebob.

**Naruto** Why do I have to fight him!?

Because you're both annoying homos.

**Naruto** What!?

**Spongebob **I'm ready, I'm ready! Want a hug?

**Naruto** I'M NOT GAY!!

Bisexual, whatever.

(Naruto stabs Spongebob's head with a Kunai)

**Naruto** There, he's dead.


	8. 4 Kids is 4 Crap

Due to overprotective mothers and the Nazi powered FCC, the Naruto anime is now dubbed by 4kids!

Staring Jason Griffith as Naruto.

**Naruto** Anything but that!

Dan Green?

**Naruto** You don't have anyone better?

Bella Hudson?

**Naruto** Who? WAIT!! I'm not gonna be voiced by a girl!

And the Japanese music with swear words is replaced by a different, catchy song.

**Intro** 'Everybody loves kong fu fighting!! (Hoo, Who HA) Those cats as fast as lightning!! (Bwah, hu cha).'

**Ino** This song is a little bit frightening.

All the female's breasts are now reduced.

**Jiraiya** That's like punching mother nature in the face.

**Sasuke** Even Sakura's? She barely has boobies to begin with, removing them will turn her into a guy.

Also, no porn or anything sexy.

**Kakashi** Where's my porn book? All I have is this Cat in the Hat book. I want to kill myself. (Kakashi stabs himself) Wait, why am I not dead? A LOLLYPOP!? NOOOOOOOOO! Wait, I sound like Dan Green!

No one will die in this version. Now everyone will like Naruto in this family safe version.

(Ratings plummet)


	9. Itachi's secret weapon

Itachi killed all of the Uchihas except for Sasuke.

**Sasuke** Why did you do this?

**Itachi** Someone stole my ipod, and I will not stop until I find it.

**Sasuke** How is this possible? What made you so strong, powerful enough to kill everyone so easily?

**Itachi** I got with the times. There's a thing called modern technology, powerful enough to kill the world. My ipod, is one of those things.

**Sasuke** No… NOT THE IPOD!

**Itachi** Are you hiding something? Well, so am I. Here is what I used to kill my tribe… (pulls out a shotgun) and what I will use to kill you.

**Sasuke** You used that?

**Itachi** Well, duh… No one else in this entire country has a gun; this is easier than it looks. (Shoots Sasuke with the shotgun)

_Mmmm whatcha say,_

_Mmm that you only meant well?_

_well of course you did_

_Mmmm whatcha say,_

_Mmmm that it's all for the best?_

_Of course it is_

_Mmmm whatcha say?_

_Mmmm that it's just what we need_

_you decided this_

_whatcha say?_

_Mmmm what did she say?_

**Itachi** Why did I hear a song? (shoots him again)

_Mmmm whatcha say,_

_Mmm that you only meant well?_

_well of course you did_

**Itachi** Weird… (shoots him again)

_Mmmm whatcha say_

(shoots him again)

_Mmmm whatcha_

(shoots him again)

_Mmmm_

(shoots him again)

_Mmm_

(shoots him again)

_Mmm_

(shoots him again)

_Mmmm whatcha say_

**Itachi** Oh shit, I really did kill him. Oh well… No one liked him anyways.


	10. So true about the boobs

Tsunade and Jiraiya have a conversation in Tsunade's office

Tsunade and Jiraiya have a conversation in Tsunade's office.

**Tsunade** Jiraiya, we have a serious problem…

**Jiraiya** What is it?

**Tsunade** Well, Orochimaru is still at large… and blah blah blah… blah blah… blah… JIRAIYAH!!

**Jiraiya** Wha… huh? What is it?

**Tsunade** You were staring at my boobies, weren't you?

**Jiraiya** No, I was looking at your tits. Big difference, and I do mean BIG. So… big… holy shit… (bloody nose).

**Tsunade** You want to see… it up close?

**Jiraiya** Damn right!

**Tsunade** (punches his face) STFU!

Later… outside in the leaf village…

**Jiraiya** How can I find something that… large?

**Naruto** Hey pervy sage!

**Jiraiya** Naruto, just the guy I wanted to see… can you do the sexy jutsu?

**Naruto** If you teach me something…

(Does sexy jutsu) (Jiraiya drools)

**Jiraiya** Now do Tsunade.

(Transforms into Tsunade) (Jiraiya gets nosebleed)

**Jiraiya** Now do me!

(Returns to normal)

**Jiraiya** NO! As a woman, not a guy!

**Naruto** Shut up perv! (walks away)

**Jiraiya** Oh… I guess I'll just find some hookers. I hope they don't have aids.


	11. SUPER SMASH BROS Olimar's problems

Olimar is fighting a giant ROB.

**Olimar** I don't know why this is the only giant rob in the entire game, but I can't defeat it.

**Blue Pikmin **Maybe, instead of using pikmin throw, use an attack that can flinch the guy.

**Olimar **There's 90 pikmin on him, and he's not moving. Wait, I must be winning!

ROB shakes off the pikmin, killing most of them.

**Olimar** Oh crap. What do I do? What do I do? What do I do? What do I do?

**Red Pikmin** Hey boss.

**Olimar** What?

**Red Pikmin** It's Megaman! He's in Brawl!

**Olimar** Really?

**Red Pikmin** No, it's just a car… that's coming right for us…

Captain Falcon jumps out of his car.

**Captain Falcon** _FALCON PUNCH!!_

Captain Falcon defeats the ROB and kills all the pikmin except the red pikmin near Olimar.

**Falcon** Show me your moves, asshole.

**Olimar** YOU'RE THE ASSHOLE!!

**Falcon **Why?

**Olimar **Oh, so killing 50 of my pikmin isn't a bad thing?

**Red Pikmin** YOU KILLED MY WIFE!!

**Olimar **She was a 20 dollar whore.

**Red Pikmin** Exactly.

**Falcon **Easy dude, just get some more pikmin.

**Olimar **I still don't approve of this…

Olimar plucks 5 pikmin.

**Falcon** Why do you only have 6 pikmin?

**Olimar **I don't want you to kill them all. With less pikmin, there are less pikmin deaths.

**Falcon** _FALCON PUNCH!!_

Captain Falcon kills 5 of Olimar's pikmin.

**Olimar** WILL YOU STOP THAT!?

**Falcon** Sorry. Oh, look over there!

Olimar walks towards a Cliffside and sees a ship.

**Olimar** Ok, there's a ship.

Captain Falcon grabs Olimar.

**Falcon** Let's go.

**Olimar **What?

Falcon and Olimar jump off the cliff and land on the ship.

**Olimar** WHAT THE XXXX IS WRONG WITH YOU?!

**DK** Dude, if Captain Falcon told you to jump off a cliff, would you?

**Olimar** Never again…

**Falcon** Let's do it again!

**Olimar and Red pikmin** XXXX YOU!!


	12. Meta Knight vs Marth

Meta Knight vs Marth

**Meta Knight** Ok, do an item match. We can only use items from our universes. For example, I can only use Kirby items and you can only use fire emblem items.

**Marth **Agreed.

The two swordsman fight.

**Meta Knight** I'm badly hurt. I'll just use this maximum tomato.

Meta Knight is healed.

**Meta Knight** My attacks are too weak. I'll just use this spicy curry.

Meta Knight eats the curry.

**Meta Knight** HOT HOT!!

**Marth** Where are my items. Why do you get all your items? (pause) Wait… I don't have any items!

**Meta Knight** And I just got the last Dragoon piece.

**Marth **What? I get nothing and you… wait, where did you (ko) AHHHHHHHHHHH!!

Marth respawns.

**Meta Knight** Ok, I won. Now you have to do that dance with me.

**Marth** How do I do the dance?

**Meta Knight** The Caramel or Caramelldansen is performed by shaking your hips like crazy for 3 hours. Ready?

Marth and Meta Knight dance like crazy.

_Oh whoa whoa-o_

_Dan sunny-os_

_Clappa here-a ham-ay_

_Your some-ay yours_

_Dora tell the belt-ay_

_You smell like_

_pizza and a crumb and_

_live and a a_

_Caramelldansen_

_O o o-wha-aoh_

_O o o-wha-aoh a-oh_

_O o o-wha-aoh_

_O o o-wha-aoh a-oh_


	13. Final Smash Petey Piranha

Kirby is fighting Petey Piranha.

**Kirby** I don't know why you kidnapped the princesses, but I do think it involves rape.

**Petey** Who told you that?

A smashball appears.

**Kirby** Look! A smash ball!

**Petey** What? Where? This would be so much easier if I had eyes.

Petey swings his cages like crazy and hits the smashball.

**Petey **Nice, now I can perform my ultimate attack!

Petey's final smash… _Ipecac_

**Petey** What's Ipecac?

A bottle appears.

**Petey **Uh… I guess I should drink this bottle.

Petey drinks it.

**Petey** Well, that did nothing. (pause) Hey Kirby, do you know any sexy chicks? I don't mean anyone that looks like you, I mean (PUKE).

**Kirby **Whoa! (pause) Dude, you ok?

**Petey** I don't (PUKE). (Panting) Now I know how Peter Griffin felt when he drank Ipecac.

**Kirby** Oh yeah. 'Who wants chowder!?'

Petey pukes again.

**Kirby** I got an idea….

Kirby calls over Wario.

**Kirby** Do your thing.

Wario farts in Petey's face.

**Wario** Smell the Wario goodness!

Petey pukes.

**Wario and Kirby** Great green gobs of greasy, grimy gopher guts, marinated monkey meat…

Petey pukes until he gets knocked out.

**Kirby **Finally, I won!

**Wario** And I got a sexy woman!

Wario steals one of the princesses. Kirby blocks his path.

**Kirby** You're not leaving, rapist!

**Wario** Well, you better be leaving.

**Kirby **Why? (pause) Oh yeah, the bomb.

Kirby and a princess fly away on the warpstar while the bomb explodes.

**Kirby** Wait, where's Petey? Ah, screw him.


	14. Why can't we be friends

SSBB, the musical

SSBB, the musical!!

Why can't we be friends?

Why can't we be friends?

Why can't we be friends?

Why can't we be friends?

**Toon link:** Why do I have to fight this weird Robot(R.O.B.)?

**Sonic:** I do not know, but Samus is so hot!

(Amy Rose beats the crap out of him)

Why can't we be friends?

Why can't we be friends?

Why can't we be friends?

Why can't we be friends?

**Wario:** I like to eat my Lay's Potato Chips.

**Olimar:** (Performing his final smash) I like blowing up my priceless spaceships!

(Boom)

Why can't we be friends?

Why can't we be friends?

Why can't we be friends?

Why can't we be friends?

**Mario:** Third Party guys are the ones I so hate!

**Sonic:** Well, you (Mario)guys outnumber us 2 to 8.

Why can't we be friends?

Why can't we be cows?

Why can't we be friends?

Why can't we be friends?

**Marth:** I miss Roy and I also miss Mewtwo.

**Pikachu:** I miss Dr. Mario and Pichu.

(both start crying and hugging each other)

Why can't we be friends?

Why can't we be friends?

Why can't we be friends?

Why can't we be friends?

**Sheik:** Why don't we stop this fight and have some lunch?

**Captain Falcon:** I'll rather kill you with my **FALCON PUNCH!!**

(Sheik got ko-ed)

Why can't we be friends?

Why can't we be friends?

Why can't we be friends?

Why can't we be friends?

**Mr.G&W:** (looks at Toon Link and Ganon) Why do we even need these clones at all?

**Fox/Falco/Wolf:** (All are performing their final smashes) We need 3 **Landmasters** for Smash Bros Brawl!

Why can't we be friends?

Why can't we be friends?

Why can't we eat cake?

Why can't we be friends?

**Pokemon Trainer:** Why don't I have Deoxys or Darkrai?

**Rob:** (looks at some food) How can I even eat this pizza pie?

Why…… can't……. we be friends?

Why - can't - we - be friends?

Why - can't - we - be friends?

Why - can't - we - be friends?

(Everyone but sonic and snake does the can-can)

Why can't we be friends?

Why can't we be friends?

Why can't we be friends?

Why can't we………. be………….. friends!!

(A nuke kills all the dancers) (Snake is on a chopper)

**Colonial Roy:** I told you nuking them was a better idea.

**Snake:** Well, not all of them died. One of them saw the airplane and ran away from the blast site.

**Roy:** It doesn't matter if someone ran away, the nuke would still kill him, no one can run that fast.

**Snake:** Well… I think you forgot sonic. He ran 15 miles away from ground zero, meaning he was untouched.

**Roy: **Well, at least he's far away from you now. We can kill him later.

**Snake:** How fast can this chopper fly?

**Roy:** About 200mph. Why Snake?

**Snake:** That explains it.

**Roy:** Explains what, Snake?

**Snake:** Sonic is running under my chopper. I think he's trying to jump onto it. What should I do Roy?

**Roy:** Uhh…. End transmission.

**Snake:** ROY!!

(Sonic destroys the chopper)


	15. Dr Wright is soooooooooooooooo wrong

**Dr.Wright **I can see that you smashers have trouble getting along. In fact, you attempt to kill each other whenever you get the chance. You even use lightsabers, bombs, plasma rifles and… M-Mr.Saturns? Well, we're gonna put everyone in pairs to make it easier. When you are in pairs, pretend to be the partner next to you.

**Fox & Wolf**

**Fox **Where's Dr. Mario?

**Dr.Wright** He was killed by a health condition that even he couldn't cure… a broken heart. Oh, and herpes, a lot of herpes.

**Fox **Ok… How do we do this again?

**Wright **Pretend to be Wolf. Start with 'I'm Wolf, and I…'

**Fox **I… I still don't…

**Wolf** Let me start. I'm Fox, and I have a laser gun that can't kill the guy I'm shooting. I hang out with Diddy Kong because I have no life but I love primates with no pants. Don't be fooled by my damn sexy girlfriend, Krystal, I'm actually a fat homo.

**Fox **Well, I'm Wolf, and I'm just another pathetic clone that no one needs. I even have a Landmaster just like Fox.

**Wolf **My Landmaster is different.

**Fox** But it's a Landmaster. What, you couldn't get a better final smash?

**Wolf **Landmasters own all!!

**Peach & Zelda**

**Zelda** I'm Peach, the lazy ass princess that has only a small army of baby Toads to defend myself from Bowser's army of Boos, Koopas, Goombas and Banzai Bills. A middle age plumber walks around the world trying to find me in a castle without taking a plane or driving a car, and would it kill him to ask for directions? Do you know how much Bowser rapes me? Why doesn't he just get a girlfriend that isn't a dumb blonde like me? And even though I can't defend myself from anything, I became a fighter in SSBM, how does that work? I also don't wear pants, so you perverts can see my ass.

**Peach **Ok, mine turn. I'm… I'm… uh….

**Zelda **It's Zelda.

**Peach **Yeah, Zelda. I'm Zelda, a sexy chick that can transform into the sexiest chick around, Sheik. People think I'm a male but they don't pay attention to my sexy ass. I'm pretty hot.

**Zelda **I don't think calling me sexy is considered an insult.

**Peach **I also have powerful magic that can kick ass.

**Zelda** That's a good thing… Dumb blonde.

**Peach **I'm pretty damn powerful.

**Zelda **You're very bad at this.

**Pit & ROB**

**ROB** My name is Pit, and I'm a pathetic angel that commands flying dwarfs that die once they attack. I only had two games that no one cares about.

**Pit **Looks who's talking…

Rob stares at him.

**ROB** I'm too girly to be voiced by a man, so they give me a lame voice actress.

**Pit** You mean Lani Minella? Dude, she was in World of Warcraft, Diablo series, she was the original voice for that sexy bat from Sonic, what was it… Rouge? Wait, what's this?

Pit presses the self destruct button on ROB's back.

**ROB **WTF!! (BOOM)

**Kirby & Pikachu**

**Kirby **Piyo

**Pikachu** Pika

Piyo

Pika Pi Pi. Pikachu!

Piyo? Piyo.

Pika?

Hi!

Pi….

**Dr.Wright** I'm still getting paid.

**Mario & Sonic**

**Sonic** Mama Mia, I'm-a Mario. I work in Japan even though I'm-a Italian. My overweight body and the fact that I'm low tier in SSBB doesn't get rid of the fact that there are 8 Mario characters. I don't want any 3rd party characters, but the fans just ruin the fun. However, I'll just have one fighter from each 3rd party universe even if one of those universes are just as popular as mine! I'll also prevent the sexy babes from those universes for making a sticker or trophy cameo so people will pay less attention to those videogame series. Do you see a Rouge the Bat trophy? NO! You got a Cream trophy, you got the chao trophy, YOU GOT A JET TROPHY. No one cares about Jet, he sucks. But you don't have a Rouge trophy? What is wrong with you Nintendo? Go XXXX yourself!

**Mario** Whao!

**Dr Wright** What about you Mario?

**Mario** Mama miah. Hmm…

**Sonic** Don't bother, most of the Mario characters can only say a sentence by using a text box.

**Dr Wright** Good point. Next!

**Samus & Snake**

**Samus** Hold up, this is freakin' gay. I'm not doing it.

**Snake **Yeah, we want to do something else.

**Wright** Fine, complain about your partner.

**Snake** Samus, do you know what I think about you?

**Samus **What?

**Snake **(sings) Samus is a bitch, she's a big fat bitch,

She's the biggest bitch in the whole wide world,

She's a stupid bitch, if there ever was a bitch,

She's a bitch to all the boys and girls.

**Samus **SHUT YOUR FXXXING MOUTH SNAKE!!

Samus punches Snake.

**Snake **OW! Hey don't hit me! I have a rocket launcher.

**Samus** I have a rocket launcher hand.

**Snake **Oh… Excuse me, can you hold onto this?

**Samus** Sure.

Snake runs away.

**Samus** Wait, what is this? It looks like a grenade. Wait, WHAT?

The grenade explodes in Samus' face.

**Samus** SNAKE!!

Samus sees a box.

**Samus **That's it…IMMA FIRIN MAH LAZER

Samus uses Zero Laser and destroys the box. Samus is now Zamus (zero suit samus).

**Wright** Zamus, you shouldn't be destroying my building.

After a short pause, Zamus shoots Dr.Wright.

**Zamus **You didn't see anything.

Snake, who wasn't in the box, sneaks up behind Zamus and breaks her neck.

**Snake** Did… did I kill her? Well, now I can XXXX that tight ass.

Sonic appears.

**Sonic** WTF?

**Snake** Uh… Well, there's no other sexy chicks. Krystal is a trophy, I can't XXXX her. Wasn't there some sexy bat in your games?

**Sonic **Rouge? Yeah! She was HOT. (Why is she so popular in this chapter?) That's one busty chick. There's no one as sexy as her.

Amy Rose appears (with her hammah).

**Amy **What was that sonic?

**Sonic** Oh… uh… Hi Amy! I got to go… uh… somewhere….

Sonic runs away.

**Amy **SONIC!!

**Snake **Ok…


	16. Newcomer Ultimate Chimera

newcomer

Newcomer

ULTIMATE CHIMERA

Special Abilities- any projectile that hits the button on his back will stun him for about 3 seconds.

B-Bite downB-Crunch sideB-Maul upB-fly

Final Smash-Ultimate Bite

Bite-A bite similar to the one in New Pork City 50 damage

Crunch-Chargeble attack similar to Dedede's down B, but doesn't decrease health 220

damage (max)

Maul-Dash attack that bites opponent similar to Bowser's side b (melee only) 30+30+30+40 damage

Fly-Chimera flies, similar to Pit's up B. Does no damage.

Ultimate bite-Chimera's mouth covers entire stage; chimera then bites 10,000,000 damage.

Running speed-Slow

Slowest walking speed

Floaty

Light

All attacks give high knockback


	17. Olimar's problems with drowning

Olimar and Samus are drowning.

**Olimar** Help! I'm drowning!

**Samus **Help! I'm drowning!

**Squirtle **Uh, what are you doing?

**Olimar** Oh, just enjoying the view… GET US OUT OF THE WATER!!

**Squirtle** But, you're wearing spacehelmets. You should have plenty of air.

**Samus** But, we're drowning!

**Squirtle **You mean, there's no oxygen in your helmets?

**Olimar** You breath oxygen? What the hell is your problem? Oxygen is highly poisonous.

**Pokemon Trainer** Oh, yeah… sure. Oxygen is gonna kill us. yeah… yeah…. ARE YOU FXXXING RETARDED?!

Olimar and Samus drown.

**Squirtle **Oh crap! I got to save them.

Squirtle jumps into the water, but starts drowning.

**Squirtle** HELP! I'M DROWNING!

**Pokemon Trainer **You are the worst Squirtle I have ever seen.

Squirtle drowns. A blue pikmin saves Olimar and brings him back to the shore.

**Olimar** Oh… thanks dude. How can I repay you?

Dedede appears.

**Dedede** I gonna beat yah up with my hammer. I could of have a giant axe or a giant sword or even a chaingun, but the FCC can only give me a hammer.

**Olimar** AH! Blue pikmin, use Hyper Beam!

**Pokemon Trainer** Wrong game dude.

**Olimar** What are you waiting for? Go!

Olimar tosses the pikmin. Dedede crushes the pikmin with his hammer.

**Dedede** Before I thrash you, why you do have a helmet?

**Olimar **Dude, this atmosphere is covered in oxygen. That's a deadly gas… for my species.

**Dedede **Really?

Dedede taps his helmet until he makes a crack.

**Olimar** YOU MOTHER F… f….

Olimar faints. His head explodes.

**Dedede** Wow… that must suck…


	18. Zamus's video

Falco Man, I have like, no girlfriends

**Falco **Man, I have like, no girlfriends. I need to get laid, or jack off, or something. Wait, that's it. I must go find a sexy youtube video.

Falco is on the computer.

**Falco **Wow, here's one. Samus shows off her rack. It has like, 100,000 views. This got to be good. (click) Wait, I can't hear anything. I need to adjust the volume.

Falco turns up the volume to the max.

**Falco **Ah man, even at the max, I can't hear it well. OMG! SHE'S UNDRESSING! Oh, yeah… Oh…

**RickRoll **NEVER GONNA GIVE YOU UP!!

**Falco** OMG! THAT'S LOUD!!

**Computer** You just got _**Rick Roll'd!!**_

**Falco **Oh, come on! WTF?

Fox runs into the room.

**Fox** I heard a loud noise. What just happened?

**Falco **(crying) I… I… I JUST GOT _**RICK ROLL'D!!**_

**Fox **Wow, dude… that must suck. I don't know anything else that is worse than that.

**Captain Falcon** I do! _**FALCON PUNCH!!**_

KO!!

**Captain Falcon** Show me your moves!

Captain Falcon looks at the computer.

**Captain Falcon** Oh, yeah. Show me your boobs!

_**RICK ROLL'D**_


	19. Future plans

Hello, and welcome to On The Spot, Gamespot's interview show. We're here with the characters from SSBB to see what their future will be like. Let's start with Mario.

**Gamespot Guy** What do you plan in your future?

**Mario **Mama mia. Well, we are gonna make some low budget games. The games will be made at the last second and will have characters with poor designs, maybe even worse than early gamecube games. We'll just put the game in a certain category that everyone knows. We're already planning a Mario kart game, and you can't play as two people like in Double Dash. We are also replacing Petey Pirahna with baby Daisy.

**Gamespot** That's stupid

**Mario** But cheap. Everyone will buy it. Even if they hate it, it doesn't matter because I'm-a getting a lot of coins.

**Gamespot** Don't you want dollar bills?

**Mario** What am I gonna do with dollar bills?

**Gamespot** And now, here's Olimar. Captain Olimar, what do you plan in your future?

There's no one else in the room.

**Gamespot** Where's Captain Olimar?

**Camera Guy** He's near your coffee mug.

**Gamespot **AH! Ants!

**Camera** No! That's Olimar.

**Gamespot **Oh, I see him. Why is he so small?

**Camera** Why don't I get a raise?

**Olimar** Well, if you're asking about Pikmin 3, I am not confirming anything nor am I denying anything.

**Gamespot **Oh come on, please?

**Olimar **If I told you, I would have to kill you.

**Gamespot** With what?

**Olimar** (pause) You win this time, but if you find out anything about Pikmin 3, you are so dead.

**Gamespot** And now, here is Ash…

**Pokemon Trainer** MY NAME IS NOT ASH!!

**Gamespot **So… what is it?

**Pokemon **Uh… it varies.

**Gamespot** Ok… so what about the future of pokemon?

**Pokemon **The next game series will be the 5th generation. We'll have about 80 new pokemon and 20 new legendary pokemon.

**Gamespot** 20? Isn't that pushing it too far?

**Pokemon **Nah. People like legendaries so we're putting a lot in this game. However, you need gameshark to get 5 of the them because they are too powerful. Also, the new female protagonist will have even shorter pants.

**Gamespot **Shorter than Dawn's pants, or dress, or whatever you call it.

**Pokemon **Yep, shorter than that.

**Gamespot** I see, and what's the rating of this game?

**Pokemon** E rating.

**Gamespot **But, this new protagonist will have extremely short pants, how do you…

**Pokemon** What? Oh, that. Well our company is a master of censorship, even though they didn't start so good with the anime. I'm still getting angry letters about Porygon.

**Gamespot** Ok, that's it for tonight's show, next week, Wii Play 2. A game that will sell even better than Smash Brothers Brawl despite having 5 levels that only last 2 minutes each.


	20. Dragon Brawl Z

Sonic is fighting DK and Wolf.

**Sonic** I have no choice, I must use my ultimate technique.

The seven chaos emeralds appear.

**Sonic **_SEVEN DRAGON BALLS_, oh wait, _SEVEN CHAOS EMERALDS_, lend me your POWER!!

Sonic becomes Super Sonic.

**DK **Oh crap, he's a super saiyan. Vegeta…

**Wolf **It's Wolf.

**DK **Whatever, what does your scooter.

**Wolf **Scouter!

**DK** Fine, what does your scouter say about his powah level?

**Wolf **IT'S OVER 9000!!

**DK** hm… uh, you did it wrong.

**Wolf** What do you mean?

**DK **Well, when Fox did it, it looked cooler. I'll call him over. Fox!

**Fox **What?

**DK** Do the 9000 thing.

Fox performs his up B.

**Fox** IT'S OVER 9000!!

**DK** That's better.

**Wolf** Wait, you're telling me that I have to light myself on fire just so I can do it correctly?

**DK** Yes. Infact, you shouldn't be here. You're a clone of Falco, who is a clone of Fox. We can't give our clones family trees, or something like that. Lucario!

**Lucario **What?

**DK** Get rid of Wolf.

**Lucario** I'm not strong enough, someone has to beat the crap out of me so I can get stronger.

**Fox** How does that work out?

**DK **Just do it…

**Lucario** Ok…

Lucario flies into the air and performs his final smash.

**Lucario** _KAAAAAAAAMEEEEEEEEEEEHAAAAAAAAAAMEEEEEEHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!_

Wolf is ko-ed.

**Ness** You know you guys, you shouldn't be doing those things. That's plagiarizing.

**Lucario** First, no one gives a crap about you Ness. Second, my final smash isn't plagiarizing.

**Ness **Why?

**Lucario **Because, I am Goku.

**Fox** For the last time, being voiced by Sean Schemmel doesn't make you Goku.

**Lucario **Don't make me kill you with my blue fireballs.

**Fox **Dude, I can just reflect the attack back onto you.

**Lucario** Fine, I'll kill Ness.

**Ness** No… I'll just absorb the attack.

**Lucario** FINE! I'll kill DK with my fireballs.

**Yoshi **FIREBALLS, YUM!!


	21. Kick you in the Smash Balls

Mario I herd u like fireballs

Luigi performs his final smash. He is having trouble standing up.

**Luigi** hey, uh… whoa!

**Mario** Luigi, what's wrong?

**Luigi **I… I had a lot of crack.

**Mario** Are you ok?.

**Luigi** I zeen cattle rocks. _Mama Luigi _has_ lots of spaghetti._

**Mario** (pause) What?

**Luigi** Come and join the dancinness.

**Mario** Dancingness isn't a real word.

**Luigi** I said dancing Ness.

Ness is in the negative zone, constantly doing his taunt.

**Ness** Ok, Ok, Ok.

**Luigi **That taunt never gots old.

**Mario **I'm leaving.

Mario finds Yoshi.

**Mario** Hey Yoshi, I herd u like fireballs.

**Yoshi** i herd u liek mudkips.

**Mario** Don't tell me that you are on crack too. But do you want some fireballs?

**Yoshi** FIREBALLS! YUM!

Mario performs his final smash, ko ing Yoshi and burning of Zero Suit Samus's sexy blue suit.

**Samus** YOU BURNED OFF MY ZERO SUIT!!

**Mario** Mama mia, no wonder it's called a zero suit. Screw Peach, I like your sexy, naked body.

**Samus** That's it, prepare for my final smash!

Samus puts her armor on.

**Mario** Well…

**Samus** Well what?

**Mario** Where's your final smash?

**Samus** That was it…

**Mario** Wow, you suck.

**Samus** That's it, _IMMA FIRIN MAH LAZER_!!

Samus performs her cool final smash, the Zero Laser.

**Samus** Ok, why does my suit always fall of?

**Diddy Kong** Monkey see, monkey do. Monkey do you!

Octopus (Mr.Game and Watch) kos Diddykong.

**Octopus** Out of the way, I am going to tentacle rape Samus with my 2 dimensional body.

**Samus** I didn't know Octopuses can live on land.

**Octopus** Uh… Oh no!

Octopus dies from lack of air and dehydration.

**Samus** Sushi time!


	22. Olimar's problems with women

Olimar is with Zelda

Olimar is with Zelda.

**Olimar** Hey baby, you want to go out?

**Zelda** (pause) what?

**Olimar **Oh, come on. You can't resist this body.

**Zelda **You're weird.

**Olimar** Yeah, and you're sexy. NOW TAKE YOUR FXXXIN' SHIRT OFF!!

Zelda transforms into Sheik.

**Sheik** Ha, now you can't rape me.

**Olimar **Why? You actually look even sexier now.

**Sheik **But I'm a male now.

**Olimar** Really?

**Sheik** Yeah, (Sheik touches his/her chest) see I… uh… opps. I guess I am still a woman.

**Olimar** OH YEAH!

**Sheik** But I'm not gonna have sex with you.

**Olimar** Oh, I know why, because I'm already married. Well, screw my wife, I want you!

Ike comes in.

**Ike** NO! NO MORE! We can't take it anymore. No one cares about you Olimar, you shouldn't have your own chapters! I should have my own chapters!

**Olimar** Why?

**Ike** Because (pause) I fight for my friends….

**Olimar** That sounds gay… though it makes sense since Marth is your boyfriend.

**Ike **SHUT UP! _GREAT AETHERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!_

Ike kills Olimar with Great Aether.

**Ike** Now… do you want to… hang out with me?

Sheik transforms back into Zelda.

**Zelda **I'm a woman.

**Ike** And I'm bisexual.

**Zelda **Crap. Well, at least you have a large, thick sword.


	23. Ganon's training day

Ganondorf is driving a car with Dark Link ridding shotgun.

**Ganon** So, why are you here?

**Dark Link** I want to be a badass gangster.

**Ganon** No, no. Why are you _really_ here?

**Dark Link** I… (sighs) I want to own a playboy strip club.

**Ganon** There you go. That's what I want to hear. Now, the only way to work underground is if you know the basics. First thing's first, we black brothers have to stick together.

**Dark Link** You look more like a very dark brown than black.

**Ganon** Second rule, don't you dare question your superiors, or your rivals, cause that shit is what will get you killed.

**Dark** **Link **Sorry.

**Ganon** Third rule, don't say stupid crap like 'I'm sorry' or 'come on, pleaaaaase'. You need to look tough, intimidating to your gang and to the city itself. Intimidation is key; it is more useful than mindless killing. If you know how to scare, you will not need to fight. Hold on, I got to stop here.

Ganon stops the car. Dark Link and Ganon get out of the car and see Bowser down a dark alley.

**Ganon** Yo Bowsah, you got my bugs?

**Bowser** Yeah Ganon, I got your shadow bugs. It's the last bag of the week.

Bowser gives Ganon the bag of shadow bugs.

**Ganon** What do you mean, son?

**Bowser** Well, the factory was captured by the police. We are running low. There's no more bug farms.

**Ganon** Oh really? Dark Link, get out a piece of paper. I need you to write something down.

**Dark Link** Ok.

Dark Link gets some paper and starts writing.

**Ganon** 'You bitches better get me that shit asap, I will not tolerate failure. The penalty will be death, and don't think that I'm too soft to kill you. I'll even prove it to you.'

**Bowser** Easy Ganon, we can make more, we just need more time…

**Ganon** Get away from me…

Bowser walks away. Ganon 'kills' him with a Dark Cannon. Bowser's trophy lies on the ground.

**Dark Link** WHAT DID YOU DO?!

**Ganon** Justifiable homicide in the line of duty.

**Dark Link** No, that was murder!

**Ganon **You can't kill anyone in smash brothers. Anyone can be revived if you touch the trophy base, like this.

Ganon accidentally revives Bowser. He shoots Bowser again.

**Ganon **Is there any way to truly kill anyone? Stupid Nintendo…

**Dark Link** I can't believe you! That guy was your friend, and you just keep on killing him!

**Ganon **Why is he my friend? Because he knows my name? Bowser's just a fat turtle with an army of pathetic goombas. The world's a better place without him anyways. Now get your ass back in the car.

**Dark Link** No way man, I'm leaving.

**Ganon** Link! Link! You disloyal fool ass bitch…. You think you can do this shit to me? You think you can do this to me? You tell them what I did, I don't give a damn, because I have news for you… Donkey Kong ain't got shit on me!

**DK** Oh yeah?

DK jumps out of the sky, charging his punch.

**DK **Donkey PUNCH!!

Dk hits Ganondorf with a giant punch. Ganon is sent flying.

**Dark Link** What did you just say?

**DK** Uh… Donkey Punch?

**Dark Link** Oh, disgusting!

**DK** What? What's wrong?

**Dark Link** Just never say that again.

**DK** Well, I won't call it Donkey Kong Punch, it doesn't have the same ring to it.


	24. Wario is a fat bastard

Wario is ridding his bike. He sees Ness, Lucas, Samus and Pikachu.

**Wario** Check out my pimped out ride driven by a pimped out, sexy pimp.

**Samus **Sexy pimp? All I see is a fat bastard.

**Wario** SHUT UP! Wait, are you Samus?

**Samus** Yeah….

**Wario** Oh, you are hot.

Wario uses some breath spray.

**Wario** (thinking) wait, I just had a garlic salad. I would need a lot more….

Wario eats the breath spray. Wario starts hitting on Samus.

**Wario** I like to have a go with that filly. Oh aye. Do you find me sexy? Look at me belly. Once you have fat, you never go back.

**Ness** I thought it was, 'once you go black, you never go back.'

**Lucas **No, you're thinking of, 'once you go black, you want your dignity back.'

**Wario **Shut the hell up! Wait, how come pikachu is teamed up with samus?

**Samus** I like cute little pokemon.

**Pikachu** Pika Piii (And I like boobies.)

**Samus** What?

**Pikachu** Pika! (Nothing.)

**Wario **Oh come on, all the ladies love me!

**Samus** You're a fat, perverted jackass. Get away.

**Ness** Oh, you got dumped!

Wario shoots Ness.

**Pikachu** Pika pika (Oh my god, he killed Ness!)

**Samus** You bastard! Wait, where's Lucas?

**Wario** He ran away like a little pussy.

**Pikachu** Pikachu pika pii pii. (Do you like being an evil lazy ass bitch?)

**Wario** Well, to be honest, I been trying to go legit.

**Samus** What does legit mean?

**Wario** I don't know, but I take my work really seriously you know. No one is buying Wario games do to poor graphics, bad humor, and being a multiplayer party game with no Wi-Fi. But when you're an overweight child, in a spinoff series of Mario, people would just look at one of your games and turn their backs on you.

Wario farts.

**Pikachu **PIIII (OMG, that's disgusting!)

**Samus **Did you just shit your pants or something?

**Wario **Maybe…

**Pikachu **Pika (you're lucky Samus, you're wearing an oxygen mask. I desperately need one.)

**Wario **well, it did sound a little 'wet' didn't it? You know, right in the end there. Oh, it smells like onions, carrots and throw-up.

Pikachu faints.

**Wario **Uh, I should leave now.


	25. Tabuu's Ultimate Showdown

Ultimate showdown of ultimate destiny

The characters of Super Smash Brothers finally meet Tabuu.

**Tabuu** Ah, I see that you brave souls have entered the subspace, defeated my entire army, and destroyed my giant battleship…. with a small dragoon….

**Kirby** Well, we had to, it was an eyesore.

**Snake** Yeah, it looked like a big dick.

**Tabuu** Hey, it's not my fault, Wario was the designer. Well, forget that. You pitiful fools are gonna die from my awesome might.

**Mario** Yeah, who are you?

**Link** I think he's Tron.

**Zelda** No, he looks more like Tron Guy.

**Olimar** Who's Tron Guy?

**Diddy Kong** I think it was some fat guy in a Tron costume.

**Yoshi** What's a Tron?

**Tabuu** SHUT UP!

Tabuu spreads its wings.

**Pit** Oh, you have wings. Not impressive. Besides, what kind of badass fighter would want to have angel wings? It will make you look like a pussy.

**Rob** Look who's talking.

**Pit** (pause) Ah, bullshit…

Tabuu sends out his offwaves, killing all the fighters.

**Mario** Mama mia!

**Meta Knight** This attack is too cheap!

**Pokemon Trainer** Why am I hit? I'm not supposed to be hit! I hide in the background while my pokemon do all my work.

A large explosion causes a cloud of smoke to cover the fighters. However, some of the fighters' trophies are visible.

**Tabuu **Wow, that was easy. Wait a minute…

As the smoke clears, 5 fighters appear, still standing. Ike, Fox, Lucario, Samus and Captain Falcon.

**Tabuu** Um… well, I'll just kill you again.

Tabuu spreads its wings again, but Sonic appears and destroys the wings.

**Sonic** Hey guys, what did I miss?

**Ike/Lucario/Fox** WHAT TOOK YOU SO LONG!!

**Tabuu** Enough! I might be weakened, but I can still win!

**Ike** Shut up, bitch. GREAT AETHAR!!

Ike performs the Great Aethar.

**Sonic **Why are you so cheap, Ike?

**Ike** Why are _you _so cheap?

**Lucario** Everyone, stand back….

Lucario jumps into the air.

**Lucario** KAMEHAMEHA!!

Lucario performs the Aura Storm/Kamehameha. Tabuu falls to the ground, next to Samus.

**Samus** Hey Tabuu, guess what….

**Tabuu** You're firin your lazah?

**Samus** YOU BASTARD! You stole my line! Now I need a cooler one… I know… KAMEH….

**Lucario** Already taken.

**Samus** You guys are no fun…. I know.

Samus fires her Zero Lazer.

**Samus** IT'S PEANUT BUTTER JELLY TIME!!

Tabuu is sent flying.

**Sonic** What did that have to do with anything?

**Samus** Can't talk, I'm being electrocuted.

Samus's suit falls off.

**Ike** Oh sweet, you're a sexy naked chick!

**Fox** Ok, mine turn… LANDMASTER!!

Fox summons a Landmaster. The Landmaster crushes Tabuu. Peppy is on the radio.

**Peppy** Fox, do a barrel….

**Fox** I already freakin' know, thank you very much!

Fox does a barrel roll in his Landmaster before shooting Tabuu with the Landmaster's cannon.

**Tabuu** I wanted to lead an army. I wanted to get rid of you Nintendo characters. I wanted to have the world! But is there anything that I can have?

**Lucario** You can have….

**Dedede** MY BIG GAY DANCE!!

Dedede does the caramelldansen. His army of waddle dees attacks Tabuu.

**Sonic** How did you get here?

**Dedede** Long story. Ok Captain Falcon, finish this guy off.

**Captain Falcon** BLUE FALCON!!

The Blue Falcon runs over Tabuu. The Blue Falcon flies high in the air before Captain Falcon jumps out of it.

**Tabuu** I do not die… It will not die!

**Captain Falcon** _FALCON PAWNCH!!_™

Captain Falcon does a big ass FALCON PUNCH

**Sonic** Captain Falcon!!

**Lucario** Fox, what does…

**Fox** My scouter say about his power level? Not this shit again. Wait…. OMG…. IT'S OVER 9,000,000!!

**Ike** WHAT, 9 million? THAT'S IMPOSSIBLE!!

**Tabuu** AHHHH!!

Tabuu disintegrates as the Falcon Punch destroys the fabric of space and time. The explosion becomes too massive to be described.

**Sonic** Hey Chuck Norris, stop over-exaggerating the Falcon Punch, we're on a tight budget. Why do you think the pokemon are still poorly drawn? But seriously, how the hell are you guys so powerful?

**Ike** I fight for my friends….

**Sonic** O rly? What friends?

**Ike** Well, good question….

**Lucario** Well, I am powerful because the aura is with me…

**Sonic** You mean the _force _is with you, you copyrighting piece of shit.

**Peppy** Don't forget Fox's barrel roll!

**Fox** Peppy, SHUT UP!!

**Samus** You guys, what about the dead fighters?

**Lucario** Oh yeah, thanks sexy chick. We should revive everyone.

5 minutes later, the surviving fighters revive the fallen ones and escape subspace. They stare at the ocean.

**Bowser** This is boring.

**Dedede** Well, I know how to cheer everyone up… BIG GAY DANCE PARTY!!

Everyone starts dancing while the song Celebration (Celebrate good times) is played.


	26. SONIC Sonic's new tvs

Sonic sees a tv.

**Sonic **Wow, a tv. I'll destroy it so I can get a powerup.

Sonic destroys the tv. Nothing happens.

**Sonic **What? Is it broken? Well, it's broken now…

Sonic sees a Best Buys.

**Sonic **Wow, there are televisions everywhere in that place.

Sonic destroys all of the tvs.

**Sonic **Well, that didn't work.

**Police Officer** Do you know what you just did?

**Sonic **Why, what's wrong?

**Police** You owe this store 100,000 for destroying all their tvs.

**Sonic** Do you accept rings?

Sonic shows the officer some rings.

**Police **Wait, you're the same guy that stole golden rings from that Zales jewelry store!

**Sonic** I'm just a disaster, aren't I?


	27. Shadow's new theme song

Charmy Hey Shadow, why are you so cool

(S stands for shadow/O stands for Omega)

**Charmy **Hey Shadow, why are you so cool?

**S** Why? Because I'm black. I'm a black hedgehog. HIT IT OMEGA!

Omega grabs an ipod and plays some rap music.

-Shadow the Hedgehog is in your town

**S** Get out of my way or I'll shoot you down.

-When it comes to hedgehogs, there are none who are worse.

**S** I'm gonna freakin' blow up this god damn earth.

-He hangs out with Rouge

**S **Ah, her body is sick. I like her big rack and she likes my big stick.  
-He doesn't get AIDS or diarrhea. But he still misses his…

**S **MARIA!!

-Here comes Omega

**O** Eggman is so dead! I'm gonna shoot him up and crush his head!

**S **Go away Sonic, you're no good. I'm the new bi-otch ruling this here hood!

Song ends.

**O** Word.

**S** So Charmy, what do you think.

Charmy is with Rouge.

**Charmy** Wow, you're right. She has a huge rack!

**S** Get away from my girl!


	28. Why trust Mephiles?

Mephiles

Future timeline. Silver and Blaze meet Mephiles.

**Silver** So, you said that you know why the world is covered in lava and pretty much experiencing a living hell?

**Mephiles** Yes, it's because of a blue hedgehog in the past who released Iblis. This hedgehog's name is Sonic.

**Silver** So, I just kill this guy and the future will be saved?

**Mephiles** Uh, yeah, sure…

**Blaze** Wait Silver, should we even trust this guy? We never even meet him before; he could be completely evil for all we know. Besides, we don't even know his name.

**Mephiles** My name is Mephiles the Dark.

**Blaze** See, even his name sounds evil.

**Mephiles** No, my name is Dark because my fur is black.

**Silver** Yeah, see Blaze, you're being racist.

**Blaze** What? Well, you don't see people call me 'Blaze the Purple'.

**Mephiles** Well, you're just jealous that my name sounds cooler than yours.

**Blaze** Screw you!

**Mephiles** Well fine, if you don't want to save the past… I'll just leave…

**Silver** Wait, how do we save the past? What, do we time travel or something?

**Mephiles** Exactly!

Mephiles grabs a chaos emerald and uses chaos control to send Silver and Blaze back in time.

**Silver** What just happened?

**Blaze** I think we have just entered the past. Be careful Silver.

**Silver** Why?

**Blaze** Anything we do could change the future.

**Silver** Exactly, the future is crappy enough as it is, how could it be worse?

**Blaze** Well, the earth could blow up and we would cease to exist. Or you could become a pink hedgehog.

**Silver** Or, you could have a large, round rack. That's my future…

**Blaze** Is that all you think about?

**Silver** Well, we have to think about our fanbase. We need to give them what they want. But we shouldn't worry; this videogame will be the best Sega game off all time!

5 weeks later. Silver is in the Sega building.

**Silver** What do you mean it's the worst Sega game off all time?


	29. Big at school

Big is at the train station.

**Big** I must save Froggy!

**Ticket Booth** 1 ticket to Station Square is 20.

**Big** Ok.

**Ticket Booth** (pause) Do you have any money?

**Big** No…

**Ticket Booth** Get a job.

**Big** Can I work here?

**Ticket Booth** Have you been to college?

**Big** No…

**Ticket Booth** Finish college and then you can work.

Big goes to college. He goes to biology class.

**Bio Teacher** Ok students, we'll be dissecting frogs!

**Big** NO!!

Big goes to food class.

**Chef** Ok children, we'll be cooking frog legs!

**Big** HOLY CRAP!!

Big goes to the gym.

**Gym Coach** Ok students, for the next week, we'll do nothing but exercise and diet.

**Big** (pause) Does anyone have a knife? I need to kill myself.


	30. Never steal Sonic's girl

Sonic visits Amy's house. Amy opens her front door.

**Sonic** Hi Amy.

**Amy** Oh, hi Sonic…

**Sonic** (pause) uh, Amy… are you ok?

**Amy** Yeah…

**Sonic** Amy, it's me, _Sonic._

**Amy** So?

Sonic starts shaking Amy like crazy.

**Sonic** WHAT DID YOU DO WITH THE REAL AMY?!

Amy pushes Sonic away.

**Amy** Sonic, what is your problem?

**Sonic** What's your problem? Whenever you see me, you pretty much go crazy and be all happy about my existence. (pause) There's something going on, am I right?

**Amy** Sonic… I have a new boyfriend…

(Long Pause)

**Amy** Sonic?

**Sonic** WHAT THE HELL?! When did this happen?! Wait, it's Shadow, isn't it?

**Amy** No….

**Sonic** Silver?

**Amy** No…

**Sonic** Knuckles?

**Amy** Hell no!

**Sonic** It better not be Jet, I'll XXXXing die if I knew…

**Amy** I'm not dating him either!

**Sonic** Then, who are you dating?

**Amy** Dexter…

**Sonic** What the XXXX is a Dexter?

**Amy** I just met him recently. It was love at first sight…

**Sonic** Bullshit. What about me?

**Amy** I can't wait forever for you to love me. I just moved on…

**Sonic** Where does this guy live?

**Amy** Uh, he lives down the street...

Sonic runs out of the house and finds Shadow.

**Sonic** Shadow, give me the baddest damn weapon you got!

**Shadow** Well, I got this big-ass chaingun from a Big Foot robot.

Sonic takes the chaingun and runs.

**Shadow** HEY! You better not break that!

Sonic arrives at Dexter's house. Dexter opens the front door.

**Sonic** Are you Dexter?

**Dexter** Yeah.

**Sonic** YOU MUST DIE!!

2 days later. Sonic sees Amy at a graveyard.

**Sonic** Hey Amy, what's going on?

**Amy** (crying) Dexter is dead!

**Sonic** No kidding… Hey, don't worry, I'm still here for you.

Amy hugs Sonic.

**Sonic** Uh, don't worry, everything will be ok.

**Amy** Oh Sonic, I'm so sorry that I left you!

**Sonic** (pause) So… do you want to have sex at my house?

**Amy** Wh…what?

**Sonic** DO YOU WANT TO HAVE SEX AT MY HOUSE?!

**Amy** Oh Sonic, that's the nicest thing you ever said.

Amy and Sonic start walking.

**Sonic** Well, it's like they say, I like big butts and I can not lie! Those other brothers can't deny!

As Sonic continues to sing, a hand rises from the ground in the graveyard…


	31. GODZILLA Megaguirape

From the scene from Godzilla vs Megaguirus. Godzilla is fighting Megaguirus.

**Godzilla **No, I'm not paying for rent.

**Megaguirus** Well, you live on Monster Island for, what, 40… 50 years? You have to pay the rent.

**Godzilla** I… I….. wait, how much is it?

**Megaguirus** hmm….. I guess…. $2000 a day.

**Godzilla** $2000?

**Megaguirus** Yeah.

**Godzilla** (pause) WTF!!!!

**Megaguirus **Whoa, whoa. Easy. Remember, you're like, 50, 100 meters tall. That means the bill is very big.

**Godzilla **I can't afford that!

**Megaguirus **Oh, excuse me. Why don't you get a job!

**Godzilla **Job? I'm a famous movie star.

**Megaguirus **Famous? All your movies are flops outside Japan. None of your films replace the monsters with CGI, you just use crappy, low budget Halloween costumes. The humans can't match their mouth with the English language. Some of your films only give you a 20 min appearance despite being a 100 min long film about you.

**Godzilla **I get it! My life sucks.

**Megaguirus** I know what yo mama sucks.

**Godzilla** WHAT!!!

Godzilla tries to attack Megaguirus, but she quickly evades. Megaguirus launches her stinger into Godzilla's crotch.

**Godzilla **Uh… did we just do it?

**Megaguirus **(pause) oh .

**Godzilla **That's kind of what you're doing.

(Tv Static)


	32. 55 years

Godzilla's friends are celebrating Godzilla's 55 year birthday. The monsters there are Mothra, Rodan, Anguirus, Jet Jaguar, Varan, Baragon, Battra, Krystalak, Obsidius and King Ceasar.

**All but Godzilla **Happy 55th Birthday Godzilla!!

**Godzilla** I'm 54.

After a short pause, Jet Jaguar, Varan, Baragon, and King Ceasar leave. Obsidius and Krystalak whisper to each other.

**Godzilla** Uh………. what just happened?

**Mothra** Dude, no one cares about your 54th birthday.

**Rodan **Yeah, we only care about certain birthdays like, 50 years.

**Anguirus** You mean Godzilla Final Wars? Cool effects, bad story, needed more _**Don Frye.**_

**Godzilla** Yeah, I guess more American actors will give us more respect. Hey, what are Obsidius and Krystalak doing? And why are they here? I don't even know them.

**Rodan** They're NEWBIES.

**Anguirus** More like Noobies.

**Godzilla** Or Boobies.

**Mothra** WHAT!

**Anguirus** Mothra, why are you insulted? You don't have boobs (However, I can always dream).

**Krystalak **Uh, we were thinking and I guess you can have the thing we gave you.

Krystalak gives Godzilla the present.

**Godzilla** Godzilla Unleashed? Sweet. I was hoping for Super Smash Bros Brawl, but I guess those delays make life more miserable. I so want to beat up Mario with Sonic. Wait, is this the Wii one?

**Anguirus **It's the Wii one. See, there's Biollante.

**Godzilla **Biollante? She's huge! Nice.

**Battra **The wii sucks. Playstation rules.

**Godzilla** You only say that because you were not in the wii version.

**Battra** SCREW YOU!

Battra leaves.

**Mothra** I got the cake.

Mothra shows Godzilla the cake.

**Godzilla** Is that Hedorah with candles on it?

**Obsidius** I don't know, I have no eyes.

**Rodan **Yeah, that's Hedorah.

**Godzilla **Ok, let me blow out the candles.

Godzilla shoots his atomic way. The ray hits Anguirus.

**Anguirus **Ow! WHAT THE HELL?

**Godzilla** Easy dude. I can only shoot an atomic blast.

**Mothra **I got an idea. Rodan, help me blow the candles.

The two kaiju create a hurricane with their wings. The gust sends the Hedorah cake flying into Godzilla.

**Godzilla **HELP!!! IT BURNS!!!!

(Tv Static)


	33. Moguera is a Dick

From the scene from Godzilla vs Spacegodzilla. Moguera appears in front of Spacegodzilla.

**Moguera** Spacegodzilla! Prepare to face the wrath of MOGUERA!!!

Spacegodzilla stares at him.

**Moguera **That's right, Moguera!

Moguera raises the roof.

**Moguera **Moguera, Moguera, Moguera.

Spacegodzilla is still staring at him.

**Moguera **Dude, what is wrong with you?

**Spacegodzilla** Is that a dick?

Moguera looks at his crotch.

**Moguera** I don't know. Maybe. Hold on, I want to rape Mothra.

**Spacegodzilla **Mothra left.

**Moguera **What?

**Spacegodzilla **She had to destroy a meteor so she left.

**Moguera **How can she survive in space?

**Spacegodzilla **I don't know, big penis.

**Moguera **Will you stop that?

**Spacegodzilla **Hey, it's not my fault that you have a terrible design flaw. Also, your arms look like whangs.

**Moguera** Oh come on!

(Tv Static)


	34. Anguirus Soccer

From the scene from Godzilla Final Wars. Godzilla is fighting King Ceasar, Anguirus and Rodan.

Have you ever wondered WTF Minya was doing, jumping around like Michel Jackson? Here's the translation of what he was saying.

**Minya** Welcome everyone to the 5th installment of the kaiju soccer game, ANGUIRUS SOCCER!!!

We see that Godzilla, the King of the Monsters, has made it to the final round against King Ceasar and Rodan. Although outnumbered, Godzilla is not outmatched.

Just before the match begins, Anguirus is doing yo mama jokes to Godzilla. I don't see why he's doing that since Anguirus is not on a team, he's the ball. Godzilla is talking back to him to even the playing field, but wait… Anguirus just called Godzilla a bitch! Godzilla is really steamed now.

The bell just rang and the 4 kaiju are running towards each other (Rodan is obviously flying). Godzilla stomps on Anguirus' head and jumps out of the way while Ceasar and Rodan hit each other with a headbutt and Godzilla slides across the field.

King Ceasar forgets about the ball and runs to Godzilla. He climbs the mountain, planning to do a devastating shoulder drop, but wait… Godzilla caught him and tossed him on Anguirus!

Anguirus is rolling to Godzilla, but Rodan trips Godzilla, causing Anguirus to slam into his crotch, just like what I do with my girlfriend (too much information).

Anguirus is in midair and Godzilla tail whips Anguirus into Rodan, causing Rodan to crash land into the Cliffside. King Ceasar does a high jump kick, sending Anguirus into a curved flight.

GOAL!!!!

But wait, Godzilla tosses Ceasar onto the other giant monsters.

GODZILLA WINS!!!!

YES, YES!!! Oh crap, I got a lot of gas. (Burp). Too much nachos. (Burp) WTF!!! (Minya is increasing in size).

Sweet, I'm a giant monster now! Hey Ken...(SQUISH). Opps.

(Tv Static)


	35. Godzilla vs King Kong 2

2012 ad. The end of the world, according to the History Channel. Godzilla destroyed Tokyo and Kingkong, the American Godzilla and Cloverfield destroyed Newyork city. But which monster is stronger? Godzilla or King Kong? This is the sequel is famous worldwide (but not as important as Alien vs Predator, Freddy vs Jason or Mario vs Sonic).

The monsters arrive in Tokyo, prepared to battle to the death. King Kong runs towards Godzilla, but he burns King Kong's face with his atomic ray.

**Kong **OW OW OW OW. I'M ON FIRE!!! HELP!!!!!!

**Godzilla** Is this the best you got? What have you been doing for the last 50 years?

**Kong** I was in remakes of my original King Kong movies.

**Godzilla** Man, you suck.

Kong picks up a giant rock while Godzilla grabs Tokyo Tower. Kong throws the rock but Godzilla hits it back with the tower. The rock slams into Kong's crotch.

**Kong **Owwww. Right in the ape's banana.

**Godzilla** I don't have to worry about it. I'm asian, so you can't even see it cause it's small.

**Kong **Lucky…

**Godzilla **Gay…

Kong tries to punch Godzilla, but Godzilla bites his hand. He slams Kong into the ground and hits him with the tower.

**Godzilla **Who's the king now? (bam bam) Who's the king now? (bam bam) Hey donkey kong, show me your moves, bitch.

**Kong **What are you, captain falcon?

**Ultraman** No, I am.

**Godzilla **Hey Ultraman, you want to finish this guy off?

**Ultraman **Gladly.

Ultraman grabs Kong and flies into space. As Kong suffers from lack of air, Ultraman throws him down. Kong burns up like a meteor and crashes into a mountain.

5 days later, kong is recovering inside a hospital on monster island.

**Mothra **Kong, you have a visitor.

Godzilla appears with a giant double chainsaw in his hands.

**Godzilla **I forgot to finish you off.

**Kong** How the hell did you get a giant chainsaw?!?!?

**Godzilla **It was (GFW) Gigan's arm.

**Kong **If you strike me down now, I will become more powerful than you can possible imagine, but before I die, promise not to kill Jack Black.

**Godzilla** Jack Black is cool, I won't kill him.

Godzilla chops up Kong.

**Mothra **Kong, your insurance won't cover your funeral. Godzilla, you have to pay for it.

**Godzilla** What?

Godzilla turns on the chainsaws.

**Mothra **King Ghidorah will have to pay for it.

**Godzilla** Hell yeah!

(Tv Static)


	36. This is Farta

From the scene from Godzilla vs Megalon. Godzilla is fighting Megalon, who is immobilized by Jet Jaguar.

**Megalon** No creature -- Persian or Japanese – no creature threatens a deity!

**Godzilla** You bring the crowns and heads of conquered kaiju to _my_ country's steps. You insult my sexy girlfriend (Mothra). You threaten my people with slavery and death! Oh, I've chosen my words carefully, Megalon. Perhaps you should have done the same!

**Jet Jaguar** Damn Right!

**Megalon** This is blasphemy! This is _madness!_

**Godzilla** Madness? _THIS IS __**FARTA!**_

Godzilla jumps in the air and slides on his tail until he kicks Megalon.

**Jet Jaguar** Dude, you said it wrong.

**Godzilla** Really?

**Jet Jaguar** It's Sparta, not Farta.

**Godzilla **Fine, let's do it again.

Jet Jaguar picks up Megalon.

**Godzilla** Madness? _THIS IS __**SPARTA!**_

**Megalon** AHHHHHHHH!!!!!!


	37. Moguera is a Dick 2

**Spacegodzilla** Your nose is a dick. Your missiles are dicks.

**Moguera **WILL YOU STOP IT!!!

**Spacegodzilla** (pause) Your tail looks like you're taking a dump, but it's stuck in there.

**Moguera **Know what, it has been 20 minutes and I don't see Godzilla.

**Spacegodzilla **(pause) Well, we can just wait. (pause) I have some beer, do you…

**Moguera **I'll have some tea. I know a place nearby.


	38. GIGANNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN

From the scene from GFW. Inside the Xillian Mothership.

**Evil Kaiser** GIGANNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN!!!!!!! Rise!

Gigan flies towards the Mothership.

**Gigan** What the was that?

**Evil Kaiser** (pause) I-I'm trying to be cool.

**Gigan** Gay.

Gigan flies away.

**Evil Kaiser** I'm not gay… am I?

**Minion **You think Don Frye is sexy.

**Evil Kaiser** _Ohhhh yeahhhh._ Wait, wait, wait… Hold on. If I'm gay, then why do I have a _sexy ninja chick_ with me?

Sexy Xillian Chick pulls out two swords.

**Sexy Xillian Chick** Come near me, I cut head off.

**Minion **(whispers to Evil Kaiser) You're right, she's hot.


	39. Chinese Restaurant

Rodan and Anguirus are at a Chinese restaurant.

**Drive Thru **Can we help you?

**Rodan** Yeah, do you have any egg rolls?

**Drive Thru** Yes

**Anguirus **How about Chow Mein?

**Drive Thru **We have shrimp, beef, lobster.

**Rodan **Lobster? We had too much lobster yesterday.

**Anguirus** Ebriah was delicious.

**Drive Thru** What you talk about?

**Rodan** What?

**Drive Thru** What you talk about?

**Anguirus **What are you talking about? Is that what he said?

**Drive Thru** You hold up the line.

**Rodan **Sorry, I don't speak Chinglish, I only speak English and Engrish.

**Anguirus** Isn't Chinglish a form of Engrish?

**Drive Thru** You take to long. Don't eating here again.

**Anguirus** What?

**Rodan** Screw this, China sucks anyways. They don't have sexy Asian chicks like Japan does.

**Anguirus** Dude, China is part of Asia.

**Rodan **Still, they don't have sexy chicks.

**Drive Thru** You having small ding dongs!

**Anguirus** What?

**Rodan **I think he said we have small… Wait, whoa, whoa, easy on the sex slang.

**Anguirus** Ours are not small, we don't even have any. (Our lives suck)

**Drive Thru** You leaving now!

**Rodan** Fine, I'm moving to New York City. Anguirus, maybe you should attack Shanghai.

**Anguirus **Why not Beijing? That's the capital.

**Rodan** Just do it. We can make a movie out of it.

**Anguirus** Nice.


	40. Mecha G

There have been many mechas over the years, but only a few became famous.

MECHA ULTRAMAN

Jet Jaguar I'm not Ultraman!

MECHA KING KONG

MECHAGODZILLA

(Mecha King Kong rip-off)

MECHA KING GHIDORAH

METAL SONIC

MECHAGODZILLA 2

(lame name)

MECHA MOGUERA

(technically a remake of Moguera)

Cyber-Zilla

(no one cares about him)

Kiryu

But now, a new mecha has arrived. Prepare yourself Godzilla.

Coming in theaters shortly after Armageddon, GODZILLA VS MECHA GEORGE BUSH. He still hasn't given up his plans for presidency, his motive, become the president of MEXICO!!!


	41. Moguera is a Dick 3

Moguera is drinking tea while Spacegodzilla is drinking beer.

**Spacegodzilla **N.. Now here's a good reason why you're, special.

**Moguera **It's about me being Dickzilla, right?

**Spacegodzilla** But that's a good thing, lo… look at me, I have nothing.

**Moguera **How do you go to the bathroom?

**Spacegodzilla **I don't know, I might have a big ass gallbladder. B..but you, you can up any chick you come across. You are lucky.

**Moguera** And you're drunk, but I think you're right. I'm gonna meet a lot of chicks and party until midnight.

**Spacegodzilla** Find some sexy anime chicks. Yeah… anime chicks. They're always getting raped. Yeah….

**Moguera** I think you need a shrink. Seriously, you need help.


	42. Handy Caps

**Narrator **Have you ever had trouble doing things that seem impossible to do for you, but easy for others?

**Megalon** I have no fingers, I have to eat my frootloops with my mouth.

Megalon goes headfirst into his cereal bowl.

**Megalon** And I keep spiting napalm balls into my food.

Megalon accidentally vomited a napalm ball into his taco.

**Rodan** Now that's a spicy meatball!

**Gigan **I have troubles with my family.

**Gigan Jr.** Hey daddy, can I have a hug?

**Gigan** Ok…

Gigan hugs his son, but his chainsaw belly rips through his son.

**Gigan** (cries) WHY DOES MY LIFE SUCK! WHO GAVE ME THIS DESIGN ANYWAYS? (pause) Hey son, are you ok?

**Titanosaurus** I only had one movie appearance and I have no fans. Everyone hates me.

**Narrator** Well, we might not help you gain popularity, but we can help you with your handicaps with our own HANDY CAPS. These giant dome shaped robots do jobs for you.

A handy cap is feeding Megalon with a spoon.

**Megalon** And to think, this only costs $200,000 a week, plus tax.

**Narrator **The handy caps are able to change their size for any situation.

A handy cap is on Gigan like a suit. The hard exterior is blocking his chainsaw belly.

**Gigan** Hey son, want a hug?

**Gigan Jr.** I think I'll pass, I'm still recovering.

**Narrator **Another satisfied customer, and they can also turn into fighting ufos.

Three handy caps are attacking Titanosaurus.

**Titanosaurus **WHY! WHAT DID I DO TO DESERVE THIS?


	43. Power of the Force of the Matrix

From the scene from GFW. Inside the Xillian Mothership.

**Evil Kaiser** I'm getting pretty sick of you guys. Hey unnamed xillians, shoot these humans.

The xillians shoot a volley of laser blasts, but Ozaki (Human Kaiser) stops the attack in midair.

**Gordon (Don Frye)** What is that, some kind of jedi trick or something?

**Evil Kaiser** Hey, don't be doing a starwars joke, or… whatever it is.

**Otonashi (The human chick)** I think it's from the Matrix, you aliens also look like those Matrix villains.

**Ozaki **Will you guys shut up! I can't focus.

Ozaki repels the blast and kills the background characters.

**Gordon **Yeah, it is like Starwars, all the unimportant characters get killed.

**Ozaki** Can't we talk about this later?

**Evil Kaiser** Enough talking, lets do the one thing that all Japanese movies have… KONG FU FIGHTING!!

The two Kaisers do some fast kong fu fighting while the song, EVERYBODY LOVES KONG FU FIGHTING, plays in the background. Notice the wires on their backs.

**Gordon **Yeah, it's a low budget version of the Matrix and Starwars.

**Otonashi **We can all agree on that.


	44. Godzilla vs Ultra

_It's the most wanted fight against toho kaiju._

_**GODZILLA vs….**_

_**ULTRA-chick?**_

**Godzilla** Hey…. baby…. You like sexy anime movies? We should reenact them. Yeah….

**Moguera **WTF?

**Godzilla** Oh, hey Moguera. What are you doing?

**Moguera **What are _you_ doing? Are you still in this Robot Chicken special?

**Godzilla **Yeah.

**Moguera** Dude, no one cares about Robot Chicken, no one cares about _you_.

**Godzilla **But, I'm getting paid.

**Moguera** Really?

**Godzilla **Well, I should. Know what, I'm gonna quit once this chapter is done. (long pause) So….. now what are we gonna do?

**Moguera **You were gonna rape that Ultrachick.

**Godzilla** Oh yeah… Hey, can you help me. Your body is covered in dicks and yet I can't even find mine. No, it's not because I'm fat, it's because I'm Asian. Small eyes and small dicks and… all that crap.

**Moguera** You know what, FINE! If everyone appreciates me for being made out of an inappropriate appendage, FINE!

Moguera tears of his left arm.

**Moguera** GO AHEAD AND ALL YOU WANT, I'M LEAVING!!

Moguera leaves. After a short pause Godzilla takes his arm.

**Godzilla** Hey baby, I got my magic wand.

Credit roll (lets skip the credit roll)

Godzilla is on his cell phone.

**Godzilla** Hey, Moguera…

**Moguera** What is it? Wait, do you still have my arm? I kind of want it back.

**Godzilla** Yeah, but I have a question… Why does that light on Ultraman flash so much?

**Moguera** Ultramen use solar energy to fuel their bodies. If they are not near the sun, their power slowly drains. While fighting on earth, an Ultraman has about 3 minutes before it runs out of energy.

**Godzilla **What happens if the light is off.

**Moguera **Then, I guess, the Ultraman dies.

**Godzilla** Oh good, I thought I raped her to death.

**Moguera **SHE'S DEAD!?

**Godzilla** Yeah… but come on, you can survive 3 minutes on earth? WTF? That's the worst weakness ever! Who came up with that idea?

**Moguera **Well, what did you think the flashing siren means?

**Godzilla** I thought Ultrachick was coming onto me.

**Moguera **Shut up… oh, and I want my arm back asap.


End file.
